Poker Talk

Let's talk about Poker today.

If you play poker, you're bound to have something stupid or embarrassing happen to you at the table. Today, was my day.

The Set up:

Today, I was sitting at the $1-2 NL hold'em table in the 4 seat. Seat 1 was our calling station, he called any two cards he had. He like to see flops and bet if any of his whole cards hit regardless if they were bottom pair or not. Seat 3 was our low stack, he also liked to call if he hit top pair or hit well he'd go all-in. He already dumped $250 to seat one so was looking to make a comeback.

The Deal:

I get dealt pocket jacks, seats 1 and 3 call. I raise $15 (now before you go complaining I over raised the pot, typically at $1-2 NL tables you get a lot of fish cause it's cheap to call any two cards so $12-!5 dollar raise is pretty standard with a good starting hand.) Rest of the table folds. Just as seat 1 was calling my eyeglass lens fall out. BOTH OF THEM!! Now I can't see crud. Seat two folds, seat 3 calls.

Now I'm in panic mode cause I can't see and I have a good hand. I'm frantically trying to fix my glasses before the flop comes. The guy sitting next to me has his headphones on and yells "IF YOU NEED HELP WITH THEM I CAN HELP YOU," obviously his volume is too high. Flop comes, and I can honestly say--I have no freaking idea what was flopped except a black queen. I bet $20 while still trying to fix my glasses. Seats 1 and 2 call. Now I'm thinking great. Turn card I again can't see so have no idea what to do, the guy beside me yells "IT'S THE 5 OF HEARTS." Now I toss my glasses at the guy for him to fix as I'm doing this the dealer picks up the card shoves it in my face and says--"It's the 5 of hearts" Now, I'm completely embarrassed and I don't want to look at the two callers in the pot cause I know I'm beat red and don't want to give anything away so I check. Seat 1 goes to bet. I say, "Come on guy's toss me a bone and save your money." They both check (thank God) Since, I have no idea where I stand in the hand cause I'm all flustered bout my glasses. River comes--Dealer yet again shoves the card in my face and says "It's the 7 of diamonds." Okay, so I know there's a black queen out there with the 5 of hearts and 7 of diamonds. What the heck the other two cards are that came on the flop I have no idea, I think my hand is good but I check cause again I can't see my glasses are half fixed cause I got one lens in (dude sitting beside me couldn't fix em) Seats 1 and 2 check as well (whewwwww) I won the hand. Needless, to say, I folded the rest of my hands till I got my glasses fixed.

Hope you enjoyed my little embarrassing moment on the table

Washing Dishes

Washing Dishes,

We all wash a dish at some point in our lives. Unless of course, your fortunate enough to have a maid do them for you day in and day out. What goes through your mind, when you're standing at the sink washing dishes? As for me, this is where my mind wanders off in directions I have no clue as to how it get there. I'll be standing there, staring down at the bubbly water full of dirty dishes, aimlessly rotating my hand in a circular motion cleaning the dishes and start thinking. What I do I think about? Freezing dog sperm.

How my mind got on that I have no idea so I just go with it and see where my mind is leading me. I start to think to myself. "I wonder if it's possible to freeze dog sperm?" Not for any other reason than for the benefit of dog breeders. You know the ones I'm talking about. Owners that have paid a substantial amount of money just to get that champion breed. What about just your typical dog owner that wants to keep old Buddy bloodline or personality going for generations to come, "just cause he's a great old dog?"

Ok, been standing at the sink to long, the suds are gone and the water is cold and there's still more dishes to do. So, I empty out the dish pan refill it...here goes my mind again...Well, Dante' (my dog) has been pretty aggressive as of late and I've been hesitant to neuter him due to the reason that he is a purebred and I would like to stud him out. Ok I say to myself, my curiosity is piqued I need to know if you can freeze dog sperm. Not saying I'm going to do it mind you, I more or less just want to know for kicks.

Hour and a half later the dishes are done and I've cleaned up. Now, it's over to the computer to look up doggy sperm. after googling "freezing dog sperm" low and behold I come across a ton of sites that offer freezing of your precious ones sperm. First site I find that I want to read bout is this one. (http://www.vetfert.co.za/semfreeze.htm) It goes on to explain their services one of which is even fertilize your female dog so you wish. Now, I care not to know how or any other thing related to that.

So, that's where my mind went this particular day while I was washing the dishes. Most likely my mind went there because of the way my dog has been acting. I also learned something new today.

Now who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?

Let's talk Celebrity Apprentice

We have in the final two--Joan Rivers Vs. Annie Duke. One is a 75yr old comedian who has spent over 100k on her face. The other can win or lose 100k in one sitting at a poker table. I have the utmost respect for both these women. But, the more I see of Joan, the more I dislike the woman. Her antics towards Annie have sunk to an all time low for a woman of her stature. She has been tossing insults more than a pack of school kids on the playground.

Yes, it's a game and they're both out to win and will use any advantage they can. But, to go as far as calling someone Hitler and lower than white trash when you're in a competition for charity just seems wrong to me. What Mr. Trump needs to do is remind Joan that she is there for charity which is a kind and generous act, not to continue defaming Annie on national television.

As far as Annie is concerned, I have to give her props during all of the flaming Joan has done towards her; she has shown it hasn't bothered her. She has remained intense on winning and not given one inch to Joan. I can see Annie is in Joan's head, which, any good poker player wants and will use that as an advantage. Joan has to see this and realize that her insults are not working and to try a new tactic, like maybe shutting up and proving you're the better person by winning it all?

As for the final, I'll be sitting on my couch eager to watch and see who wins.

P.S., I've posted the episode that Joan flames Annie. Though, it's only one of many